Diary Entry December 12 1941

In this small segment of his entry for 12 December 1941, Yura's despair is very obvious. Throughout the siege, he and his family focused on evacuation to survive. Yura remarked often that planning towards and focusing on evacuation were necessary. He kept looking towards the future, towards the end of the siege. However, he lost hope. Even though he can picture his family leaving Leningrad, he doesn't have faith that he will make it. He knows that Leningrad will return to normal, emphasizing Soviet propaganda, of the city standing strong and proud, and that his family will survive. His physical symptoms of starvation were becoming more and more severe, as he had increasing difficulty moving. He relied on a cane to walk, leaning heavily on it or other nearby surfaces. He felt slow, constantly tired, and weak.

By the end of the siege, Yura no longer saw a future for himself. The toll of starvation had not only consumed his body but also his spirit for life that defined him, as described by his sister following the siege. He did not know when he would go, but he knew he would soon. In spite of this, he tried to survive for as long as possible for his family's sake. Even in his deepest depression, Yura was focused on the continuation of his family, who he believed were better and more deserving than he.